Madi Van Reenen, Jan. 11, Eros & Agape
I know that I already included this topic in my Partial Credit Essay but I couldn't stop thinking about it so... here I am. The idea of Eros vs. Agape love as proposed by Robert Jewett in the assigned excerpt really struck my heart. I always knew that humans sometimes tended to love without meaning or purpose but to have someone tell me there were actual words and theories behind it really sparked my interest.
Essentially, Jewett explained that "eros" love is selfish or, "seductive love, driven by the desire to achieve pleasure by controlling others," whereas "agape" love is genuine and seeked out with a pure heart or, "genuine caring love" as Jewett wrote. He goes on to draw the conclusion that as humans and more specifically followers of Christ, we should be living lives with agape love. That is, a love that was motivated by the spirit of Christ and following the way he lived and loved.
I guess that probably went without having to be explained but this stuck with me more than most because nowadays, especially at this age, people are in relationships for no reason. Couples begin dating with no purpose or end plan in mind. To me, that completely misses the point of giving yourself to someone and being in mutual companionship. If you're in a relationship and you're not growing or helping your partner grow, you're putting yourself in chronos- a cyclical time of no meaning or fulfillment. Jewett wrote, "to live according to flesh is to be stuck in chronos," and I could not agree more. If you're only in a relationship because you're lonely and trying to fill a void, you're doing yourself and your partner a disservice by not being genuine. The void will only grow larger and you'll have to continue to find something to temporarily fill it, instead find the love of Christ or whichever God you believe in to truly fill your spirit and set your heart on fire (shameless Christian plug).
Not that I'm a certified relationship specialist but I believe that if you begin a relationship and know from the beginning that it is something that you could see yourself being in for the rest of your life, and your partner feels the same, you dodge being stuck in chronos and enter kairos- fulfilled or sacred time. I think this is especially important for Christians seeking God as the foundation of their relationship/marriage. Jewett wrote, "to live accordance to the spirit, in response to the love of Christ, is to enter the realm of kairos."
Essentially, Jewett explained that "eros" love is selfish or, "seductive love, driven by the desire to achieve pleasure by controlling others," whereas "agape" love is genuine and seeked out with a pure heart or, "genuine caring love" as Jewett wrote. He goes on to draw the conclusion that as humans and more specifically followers of Christ, we should be living lives with agape love. That is, a love that was motivated by the spirit of Christ and following the way he lived and loved.
I guess that probably went without having to be explained but this stuck with me more than most because nowadays, especially at this age, people are in relationships for no reason. Couples begin dating with no purpose or end plan in mind. To me, that completely misses the point of giving yourself to someone and being in mutual companionship. If you're in a relationship and you're not growing or helping your partner grow, you're putting yourself in chronos- a cyclical time of no meaning or fulfillment. Jewett wrote, "to live according to flesh is to be stuck in chronos," and I could not agree more. If you're only in a relationship because you're lonely and trying to fill a void, you're doing yourself and your partner a disservice by not being genuine. The void will only grow larger and you'll have to continue to find something to temporarily fill it, instead find the love of Christ or whichever God you believe in to truly fill your spirit and set your heart on fire (shameless Christian plug).
Not that I'm a certified relationship specialist but I believe that if you begin a relationship and know from the beginning that it is something that you could see yourself being in for the rest of your life, and your partner feels the same, you dodge being stuck in chronos and enter kairos- fulfilled or sacred time. I think this is especially important for Christians seeking God as the foundation of their relationship/marriage. Jewett wrote, "to live accordance to the spirit, in response to the love of Christ, is to enter the realm of kairos."
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